The last month at a glance!

Again, I am slow to get an update. There is so much to say and it feels like time is flying faster than ever. So many things have happened in the last few weeks. I celebrated teacher’s day here in India. It was nice to have 300 wishes of “Happy Teacher’s Day,” from the students and staff as well as a few heartfelt gifts the students drew.

We also attended the marriage party of one of the teachers from my school. She is no longer working at the school as she has moved to her husband’s village. The bride was a beautiful sight. For weddings, they spare no expense for jewelry. The parents arranged the marriage. I tried to imagine getting to know everything you would like to know about the man you would spend the rest of your life with a week before the ceremony. Scary thought!

My students took their quarterly exams, and I am happy with the results. It is nothing like testing in America, but I think they did well. One teacher told me her students scored higher in English than in Tamil! After exams, everyone was leaving for 10 days. Mom and I took this time to see our kids at New Life and Light of Love.

We took a train to Visak to save ourselves about $750. It was an experience. The scenery was beautiful, and something we wouldn’t get on the flight. We met some interesting people and had plenty of time to relax, talk and listen to music. For a 19 hour trip we decided to just bring along some snacks instead of worrying about getting train food. Staring at a young teenage boy crawling on the floor of a dirty train, tugging on clothes and begging for money, my appetite was soon gone. How could I sit there eating my snacks while a different beggar is coming through our car every five minutes? At first, I am ashamed to say that I felt frustration because everyone is guaranteed to stop at us for money because we are white and appear to be the golden ticket. I wasn’t irritated at the act of begging, but feeling like I couldn’t help everyone who stops. Soon thereafter, I realized I could probably afford to pay every begging child, mother, or disabled person who passed me enough to live off for a few days in India, without putting a dent in my American wallet. Even so, more overwhelming than the feeling of shame for not giving immediately and wholeheartedly, was the realization that my money can’t really help them at all. That boy will probably be working the same train route tomorrow and the next day for as long as I can imagine. These people are not only monetarily poor, but also physically, emotionally, and spiritually. How can I make a difference? I still believe in freely giving to and serving others. No good deed, no matter how big or small, goes without benefiting someone. I just need to decide what I’m doing that changes the big picture. Am I living a life worthwhile that really makes a difference, or am I living for me. I think I will need all 7 months left in India to decide my next steps when returning home. If coming home is even the answer.

As we were a good two hours from our final destination on the train, I look out to see my familiar second home, Light of Love. There were definitely some mixed emotions. Overjoyed that seeing the school means we are back and those beautiful children are closer than ever. Saddened by the fact that we are quickly rolling past and not ready to just jump out and start giving our hugs.

Arriving at New Life was a rush. I made sure to put on all my memory gifts from the children before we arrived. I have to change them from one school to the next because I have gotten so many. Stepping out of the car, I see Malleswari, the girl I sponsor, holding the garland for me. She looked as beautiful and ever and it was great to be able to hug her again. Walking through the line of children, mom and I are able to answer correctly, as many students ask, “My name?” The look they give you followed by a big smile and hug is such a rush. We forget what it means to the kids to have you remember them and know them by name. I get a small picture of heaven as we all run to Jesus, seeing that he really does know us all down to the number of hairs on our head.

One day, the older girls decided they wanted to go for picnic in the forest. We started walking with some water bottles and biscuits (Indian cookies) in hand. Nothing like narrow paths lined with thorny bushes and trees to remind me why long skirts aren’t the most convenient thing to wear. It’s moments like these that I find myself wondering how I can ever begin to convey them to family and friends back home. Having my mom with me, I know she will understand. However, thorn in foot, sweat rolling, snakes crawling, dress catching at every step I take, it seems as though most people won’t be able to figure out why I enjoyed myself so much. I suppose I’m the one who doesn’t know how to put it into words properly. It seems as though every experience I have here in India is new. What I like more than anything is that I am usually living outside of my comfort zone. For once in my life, I am happy to do things I’ve never tried before. No matter what my fears in the past have been, I try new things put before me without hesitation.

One thing I have discovered very quickly, is that with each trip to New Life and Light of Love, leaving gets a little harder. This time I was dreading the moment the car started for us to leave several hours before. The handful of children who I had bonded with the most over the last several months of visits knew exactly how much time I had left. With a language barrier, it would seem difficult to build relationships with the children. But, it such a short time, no words are needed. Walking hand in hand with the kids and sharing those knowing glances during prayer are all I need to be filled with love.

While I’m not sure I will ever leave New Life again without tears, it was also good when we reached my school in Annai Erica again. I was happy to see all my students and friends looking fresh after a long break. Now the hard part is having Mom leave. Her two months here are finished and we just took her to the airport today. I know she will be greatly missed by all the students as well. It was nice to have family here for a while to share in all the joys of India. Now I will need to work a little harder on my Tamil to communicate even easier with everyone.

I will try to be more consistent with my posts!