My time here in India is coming to an end, which brings me fear, excitement, sadness and a myriad of other emotions completely unrelated to one another! I have adjusted to a culture completely opposite of my own. I have loved my time with the people, the children most of all. On the other hand, surely God has great things in store for me when I return home. I am returning to school for a new degree, changing my life plan and starting afresh. I have spent the better part of two years apart from loved ones back home. I can now look forward to spending my Christmas with those who have eagerly awaited my return. I can hug them and hold them once more, sharing in their sorrows and laughter without a chat/email screen dividing us.
India will always hold a special place in my heart. I have experienced my fair share of heartaches and hurdles since coming, but it would be foolish to call them regrets. Everything that has happened in India has played a part it making me who I am today. This has become my home away from home. My family has increased by 700+ with all of my brothers and sisters in the children’s homes of Light of Love and New Life. Two cultures, two languages and hundreds of hearts have somehow joined as one through Christ over the last year and a half. My hope is that I will never forget the people and the lessons I have learned during my time here.
I was on my knees scrubbing laundry in the bathroom contemplating where I would be in a couple of months from that moment. I have settled into a routine here. The inconveniences of a third world country barely faze me now. I walk wherever I need and otherwise catch a bus. I hand wash my own laundry and have mastered the cold bucket shower. I peacefully share my room with rodents both flying and four-legged. Dozens of boys shouting, running and wrestling just outside my door at 6 a.m. no longer wakes me. I cook over coals and wood when the gas has run out. An open window and low fan is enough to create a chill in 90-degree weather. Silverware has become an afterthought and even more, a nuisance. English is less decipherable than Telugu when spoken. Varieties of braids have become my hairstyle of choice. I can turn a 12-foot sheet into an outfit. A few hours of electricity in a 24-hour day are sufficient. My time and presence are more valued than my money or gifts. At 23 years of age, I am now confident that I can go anywhere and do anything independently and successfully.
I have come to learn just how spoiled I was before. Even the simplest living in America does not compare to the life of a family in rural India. How long will it take me to fall back into my westernized habits? How long before these memories fade? When will I toss two pieces of clothes into the washing machine and forget how lucky I am for the convenience? How soon before I hop in my car to drive but a half-mile? Obviously, it would not be natural or logical to continue living the way I do now once I return home. Even so, I pray there will be some change in me; that at the very least, I take a moment to thank God for all of the many blessings He has given me each day. I hope to waste a little less and give a lot more, whether it be time, resources, energy, knowledge or love. I want to make every day count. My journey in India could very well be for waste if I fail to use it for the betterment of both others and myself. There is a lost and hurting world outside the walls of our comfortable homes. Most of us need not even leave our hometown in order to find it. Just don’t be afraid to go. Don’t be scared to reach outside of your city, state or country to start making a difference. Don’t let insecurities or doubt stop you from becoming more. Only three short years ago, I would have confidently said you would never find me boarding a plane to leave the United States. I am sure God stands in heaven getting a good laugh at our bold proclamations and personal plans for our future. He always has His own. Even when you think you can finally see what God has in store, it is usually even greater still. My prayer is that he keeps my heart open to all he has intended for me in the coming months and years. God will always answer our pure and Christ-centered prayers, it just may not be in the way we specifically asked Him to do it. That being said, who are we to tell God how something should be done?
~Psalm 20:4~
I will sadly say my goodbyes to India in a few weeks, unsure if the tears of the children or my own will be greater in number. As I give them my final hugs farewell, I can take comfort in the assurance that I will return. Even if that trip turns out to be shorter than I like or never happens at all, I have an eternity in heaven with them and our maker. I am ready for the next chapter in my life. “Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it is the middle that matters most.” ~Hope Floats~
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