My time here in India is coming to an end, which brings me fear, excitement, sadness and a myriad of other emotions completely unrelated to one another! I have adjusted to a culture completely opposite of my own. I have loved my time with the people, the children most of all. On the other hand, surely God has great things in store for me when I return home. I am returning to school for a new degree, changing my life plan and starting afresh. I have spent the better part of two years apart from loved ones back home. I can now look forward to spending my Christmas with those who have eagerly awaited my return. I can hug them and hold them once more, sharing in their sorrows and laughter without a chat/email screen dividing us.
India will always hold a special place in my heart. I have experienced my fair share of heartaches and hurdles since coming, but it would be foolish to call them regrets. Everything that has happened in India has played a part it making me who I am today. This has become my home away from home. My family has increased by 700+ with all of my brothers and sisters in the children’s homes of Light of Love and New Life. Two cultures, two languages and hundreds of hearts have somehow joined as one through Christ over the last year and a half. My hope is that I will never forget the people and the lessons I have learned during my time here.
I was on my knees scrubbing laundry in the bathroom contemplating where I would be in a couple of months from that moment. I have settled into a routine here. The inconveniences of a third world country barely faze me now. I walk wherever I need and otherwise catch a bus. I hand wash my own laundry and have mastered the cold bucket shower. I peacefully share my room with rodents both flying and four-legged. Dozens of boys shouting, running and wrestling just outside my door at 6 a.m. no longer wakes me. I cook over coals and wood when the gas has run out. An open window and low fan is enough to create a chill in 90-degree weather. Silverware has become an afterthought and even more, a nuisance. English is less decipherable than Telugu when spoken. Varieties of braids have become my hairstyle of choice. I can turn a 12-foot sheet into an outfit. A few hours of electricity in a 24-hour day are sufficient. My time and presence are more valued than my money or gifts. At 23 years of age, I am now confident that I can go anywhere and do anything independently and successfully.
I have come to learn just how spoiled I was before. Even the simplest living in America does not compare to the life of a family in rural India. How long will it take me to fall back into my westernized habits? How long before these memories fade? When will I toss two pieces of clothes into the washing machine and forget how lucky I am for the convenience? How soon before I hop in my car to drive but a half-mile? Obviously, it would not be natural or logical to continue living the way I do now once I return home. Even so, I pray there will be some change in me; that at the very least, I take a moment to thank God for all of the many blessings He has given me each day. I hope to waste a little less and give a lot more, whether it be time, resources, energy, knowledge or love. I want to make every day count. My journey in India could very well be for waste if I fail to use it for the betterment of both others and myself. There is a lost and hurting world outside the walls of our comfortable homes. Most of us need not even leave our hometown in order to find it. Just don’t be afraid to go. Don’t be scared to reach outside of your city, state or country to start making a difference. Don’t let insecurities or doubt stop you from becoming more. Only three short years ago, I would have confidently said you would never find me boarding a plane to leave the United States. I am sure God stands in heaven getting a good laugh at our bold proclamations and personal plans for our future. He always has His own. Even when you think you can finally see what God has in store, it is usually even greater still. My prayer is that he keeps my heart open to all he has intended for me in the coming months and years. God will always answer our pure and Christ-centered prayers, it just may not be in the way we specifically asked Him to do it. That being said, who are we to tell God how something should be done?
~Psalm 20:4~
I will sadly say my goodbyes to India in a few weeks, unsure if the tears of the children or my own will be greater in number. As I give them my final hugs farewell, I can take comfort in the assurance that I will return. Even if that trip turns out to be shorter than I like or never happens at all, I have an eternity in heaven with them and our maker. I am ready for the next chapter in my life. “Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it is the middle that matters most.” ~Hope Floats~
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Worship in the Darkness and the Light
Last night, I was attending the girl’s evening prayer. One already completed, the girls had begun their second worship song. The majority were clapping to the beat and singing along, with a few being children, and by that, I mean causing small mischief…whispering, roughhousing and daydreaming. The older girls wander through the rows to keep them in order.
Then, a beautiful thing happened. The power cut (something we have become accustomed to 8-10 hours a day here). In a matter of seconds, the girls lifted their voices higher and louder, shouting their song of praise to the heavens. Though I could not see more than a few inches in front of my face, I could only imagine girls side by side, many joining hands and lifting their eyes. With some 100-200 girls under the age of 12 in the room, there is no doubt that many share a fear of the dark. Complete darkness grabbed their attention. Any discussions dropped, playing ceased and one could think of nothing but the pure black surrounding us. All distractions were gone. With the flip of a switch, all attention in the room fell on Christ. Keeping in mind, this is where our focus should have been during prayer and worship anyway. Would it be farfetched to think God was not feeling the love in the room and found a way to take back all focus of our hearts and minds?
The sound that filled the room was enough to send chills down my spine. I could now feel the praise pour out of the hearts of these girls instead of just singing by routine. This is the heart of worship. God wants our undivided attention, our praise in the purest form, seeking Christ and giving all glory to Him. This is not the first time I have witnessed a pitch-black prayer. Every time the lights go off, the focus centers on Him and it is a lovely thing. Nevertheless, yesterday was the first time I saw how this is the perfect illustration of what God does in our lives when our focus is off course.
When troubles come, when fear enters our lives, when we are hurting, to whom do we turn? God, of course! He is quick to remind us that we are nothing without Him. God sends the darkness and He is the only light, the only hope we have. When we are dealing with troubles, we are no longer distracted by our own selfishness and the worldly ways in which we try to live. Christ becomes our center again and we lean on Him, seeking Him wholeheartedly.
….The lights came back on and prayer continued. Something even more magnificent struck me then, something I had failed to notice before. During the last song of prayer, all children close their eyes. Tonight as I listened, all voices were again lifted high, just as they had been when the lights went out. No one was paying attention to those around them. I scanned the room to see all faces looking intent and pouring out their praise to God. Isn’t this worship better?
What if God doesn’t have to take back our attention. What if He doesn’t have to shut off the lights in our lives because we have willing closed our eyes. We make a conscious decision to put everything else in our lives aside and make Christ front and center. We seek Him even on our best days. Doesn’t he deserve all the glory and praise anyway? What would we have without Him? God’s purpose is not to serve us, assist us, carry us out of pain and struggles. Our purpose is to love Jesus, share Jesus and become more like Jesus. (WFC has the right idea!)
Let us not wait for the darkness to come. Let us close our eyes, bring the focus back to God and give our hearts to Him, even when we are not hoping for an answered prayer. I cannot let my world distract me from giving God my attention, praise, love and life to the fullest.
Psalm 46:10
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
Then, a beautiful thing happened. The power cut (something we have become accustomed to 8-10 hours a day here). In a matter of seconds, the girls lifted their voices higher and louder, shouting their song of praise to the heavens. Though I could not see more than a few inches in front of my face, I could only imagine girls side by side, many joining hands and lifting their eyes. With some 100-200 girls under the age of 12 in the room, there is no doubt that many share a fear of the dark. Complete darkness grabbed their attention. Any discussions dropped, playing ceased and one could think of nothing but the pure black surrounding us. All distractions were gone. With the flip of a switch, all attention in the room fell on Christ. Keeping in mind, this is where our focus should have been during prayer and worship anyway. Would it be farfetched to think God was not feeling the love in the room and found a way to take back all focus of our hearts and minds?
The sound that filled the room was enough to send chills down my spine. I could now feel the praise pour out of the hearts of these girls instead of just singing by routine. This is the heart of worship. God wants our undivided attention, our praise in the purest form, seeking Christ and giving all glory to Him. This is not the first time I have witnessed a pitch-black prayer. Every time the lights go off, the focus centers on Him and it is a lovely thing. Nevertheless, yesterday was the first time I saw how this is the perfect illustration of what God does in our lives when our focus is off course.
When troubles come, when fear enters our lives, when we are hurting, to whom do we turn? God, of course! He is quick to remind us that we are nothing without Him. God sends the darkness and He is the only light, the only hope we have. When we are dealing with troubles, we are no longer distracted by our own selfishness and the worldly ways in which we try to live. Christ becomes our center again and we lean on Him, seeking Him wholeheartedly.
….The lights came back on and prayer continued. Something even more magnificent struck me then, something I had failed to notice before. During the last song of prayer, all children close their eyes. Tonight as I listened, all voices were again lifted high, just as they had been when the lights went out. No one was paying attention to those around them. I scanned the room to see all faces looking intent and pouring out their praise to God. Isn’t this worship better?
What if God doesn’t have to take back our attention. What if He doesn’t have to shut off the lights in our lives because we have willing closed our eyes. We make a conscious decision to put everything else in our lives aside and make Christ front and center. We seek Him even on our best days. Doesn’t he deserve all the glory and praise anyway? What would we have without Him? God’s purpose is not to serve us, assist us, carry us out of pain and struggles. Our purpose is to love Jesus, share Jesus and become more like Jesus. (WFC has the right idea!)
Let us not wait for the darkness to come. Let us close our eyes, bring the focus back to God and give our hearts to Him, even when we are not hoping for an answered prayer. I cannot let my world distract me from giving God my attention, praise, love and life to the fullest.
Psalm 46:10
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Salt and Tears
This weekend was the second Saturday of the month. Once a month Sony and Sowmya, who run the Light of Love School, provide a 2-hour free health clinic to the local Tuni people, followed by a worship service and sermon for those in attendance. At the clinic, they provide a free check-up as well as basic commonly prescribed medications.
Mom and I have been fortunate to attend for the last two months. The health clinic began a little busier than usual. Sowmya’s sister, who usually volunteers as well, could not be there. With only one doctor to see nearly 200 patients, the line never let up as the evening wore on. While many families awaited their turn, I had the opportunity to interact and hear some of the stories. One grandmother stopped me to share hers. An older student volunteering his time at the clinic acted as our translator. The woman was there with her daughter, son-in-law, son and daughter-in-law along with their three teenage children. The daughter and two sons are mute. They have not been able to walk on their own since a very young age, suffering from a disease in their joints. Their mother is deaf and their aunt experiences chronic severe stomach pains. After the grandmother had shared their story, I was able to pray over the family. In situations such as these, I know their only hope is in the grace of God.
After I prayed, the grandmother stood beside me to hold my hand. She continued speaking although my translator had left. I only understood bits and pieces of the Telugu I have picked up over the months, but the sorrow in her voice said it all. I held her while she wept. I have nothing more to give them than my blessings, my love and my shoulder. I pray that it’s enough to get them through the moment. A small hope to cling to, assuring they are not alone in this world. Before she left, the grandmother came to find me. There was an exchange of smiles and words; meanings lost in the language barrier. Then she hugged me the way I do the ones I love. I hope the connection we shared at that moment was rooted in Christ.
This family unfortunately, is like so many others in India. Seeing their pain made me wish I had went into the medical field (only briefly of course as anything with blood and needles is far from my calling!). There is such a need for good and honest doctors, especially those like Sowmya who are willing to give their services for free when there are people in need. I have spent many hours speaking with her and listening to her dreams. She has such a gift, but no place to use it. Sowmya is able to care for the kids in the orphanage and once a month provide her services through the clinic, but she desires to give even more of herself. She hopes to one day have a hospital on or near campus to provide her health services on a daily basis to the local dalits. Even her students have begun praying to see her dream fulfilled within the next year. I know the children of Light of Love feel blessed by all that Sowmya has done for them and would love to see her sharing her gift with others. A heart of service such as hers should not go to waste!
As the patients cleared, it was time for the service to begin. This week, Sony surprised us by giving the message for the night in English, translated to Telugu for everyone else. He did a wonderful job of delivering the message and there is no doubt God was speaking through him that night. The sermon was on “salt.” ~Matthew 5:13-16~ A similar message from WFC inspired me a couple months ago, but it is always valuable to hear several perspectives on the same passages. Bottom line.. We are on earth to restore, preserve, and influence those around us both Christ-following and not. We are responsible for the lives around us, those who we interact with on a regular basis.
Then today, God challenged me once again. Some time ago, I signed up for KLove’s Encouraging Word daily emails. While the verses always give me something to think and pray about, I opened today’s email to see the same lesson staring me in the face.
Monday 9/12/2011
You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor?
~ Matthew 5:13, NLT
Perhaps God has decided subtle doesn’t work for me. “If I have to say it twice in two days you should listen, Kim!” Now I have to ask myself. Am I like salt? Whether in India or America, God has a purpose for me. It doesn’t matter where I am as long as I stay salty, living for and sharing Jesus. He has a purpose for us all. Are we fulfilling it or living for ourselves? Do I add flavor to those around me? And most importantly, does my life reflect Christ? Anything else is artificial flavoring. My actions and words are empty if not centered in Him. I think as Christians, we should hope to leave a lasting taste of Jesus everywhere we go. Our friends, family and coworkers should feel changed or benefited in some way for having us in their life. Every day in all that I do, I need to make sure I am being salty.
Last night, Mom and I were able to get online and connect with the live campus. It was so nice to interact with fellow Westsiders again and see Troy and Dan onstage. The downloaded, slow buffering podcasts and videos just don’t do it justice! I am so thankful to Jason for helping to make this online service happen. The series on “How to Get Rich” hits so close to home where I am now. The very people who make up the poorest of the world surround me. Even without my job, it is clear in India that I still fall into the top 5%. The faith of these people and the way the children so freely give of themselves is changing my heart. I see what real trust in God looks like. What real giving is. Even Sony and Sowmya have taken on the expense of about $500 for the medications provided at their monthly clinic from their own salaries. Being in the field of social work in India, they are by no means wealthy. As they feel led by God to follow the clinic with the message of Jesus, acquiring funding has become a challenge. Organizations are less willing to support a health clinic when religion is involved. Their trust in God to provide amazes me. Neither Sony nor Sowmya know from where or when the money will come, but as long as there are people to serve, they keep giving. I send out their prayer request to you. God willing, funds to build a hospital of their own would allow them to make an even bigger impact in Tuni.
To try to summarize what I have learned from all of this:
Let us share all that we have... our resources, hearts, God-given gifts, time, service and the message of hope through Christ.
Mom and I have been fortunate to attend for the last two months. The health clinic began a little busier than usual. Sowmya’s sister, who usually volunteers as well, could not be there. With only one doctor to see nearly 200 patients, the line never let up as the evening wore on. While many families awaited their turn, I had the opportunity to interact and hear some of the stories. One grandmother stopped me to share hers. An older student volunteering his time at the clinic acted as our translator. The woman was there with her daughter, son-in-law, son and daughter-in-law along with their three teenage children. The daughter and two sons are mute. They have not been able to walk on their own since a very young age, suffering from a disease in their joints. Their mother is deaf and their aunt experiences chronic severe stomach pains. After the grandmother had shared their story, I was able to pray over the family. In situations such as these, I know their only hope is in the grace of God.
After I prayed, the grandmother stood beside me to hold my hand. She continued speaking although my translator had left. I only understood bits and pieces of the Telugu I have picked up over the months, but the sorrow in her voice said it all. I held her while she wept. I have nothing more to give them than my blessings, my love and my shoulder. I pray that it’s enough to get them through the moment. A small hope to cling to, assuring they are not alone in this world. Before she left, the grandmother came to find me. There was an exchange of smiles and words; meanings lost in the language barrier. Then she hugged me the way I do the ones I love. I hope the connection we shared at that moment was rooted in Christ.
This family unfortunately, is like so many others in India. Seeing their pain made me wish I had went into the medical field (only briefly of course as anything with blood and needles is far from my calling!). There is such a need for good and honest doctors, especially those like Sowmya who are willing to give their services for free when there are people in need. I have spent many hours speaking with her and listening to her dreams. She has such a gift, but no place to use it. Sowmya is able to care for the kids in the orphanage and once a month provide her services through the clinic, but she desires to give even more of herself. She hopes to one day have a hospital on or near campus to provide her health services on a daily basis to the local dalits. Even her students have begun praying to see her dream fulfilled within the next year. I know the children of Light of Love feel blessed by all that Sowmya has done for them and would love to see her sharing her gift with others. A heart of service such as hers should not go to waste!
As the patients cleared, it was time for the service to begin. This week, Sony surprised us by giving the message for the night in English, translated to Telugu for everyone else. He did a wonderful job of delivering the message and there is no doubt God was speaking through him that night. The sermon was on “salt.” ~Matthew 5:13-16~ A similar message from WFC inspired me a couple months ago, but it is always valuable to hear several perspectives on the same passages. Bottom line.. We are on earth to restore, preserve, and influence those around us both Christ-following and not. We are responsible for the lives around us, those who we interact with on a regular basis.
Then today, God challenged me once again. Some time ago, I signed up for KLove’s Encouraging Word daily emails. While the verses always give me something to think and pray about, I opened today’s email to see the same lesson staring me in the face.
Monday 9/12/2011
You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor?
~ Matthew 5:13, NLT
Perhaps God has decided subtle doesn’t work for me. “If I have to say it twice in two days you should listen, Kim!” Now I have to ask myself. Am I like salt? Whether in India or America, God has a purpose for me. It doesn’t matter where I am as long as I stay salty, living for and sharing Jesus. He has a purpose for us all. Are we fulfilling it or living for ourselves? Do I add flavor to those around me? And most importantly, does my life reflect Christ? Anything else is artificial flavoring. My actions and words are empty if not centered in Him. I think as Christians, we should hope to leave a lasting taste of Jesus everywhere we go. Our friends, family and coworkers should feel changed or benefited in some way for having us in their life. Every day in all that I do, I need to make sure I am being salty.
Last night, Mom and I were able to get online and connect with the live campus. It was so nice to interact with fellow Westsiders again and see Troy and Dan onstage. The downloaded, slow buffering podcasts and videos just don’t do it justice! I am so thankful to Jason for helping to make this online service happen. The series on “How to Get Rich” hits so close to home where I am now. The very people who make up the poorest of the world surround me. Even without my job, it is clear in India that I still fall into the top 5%. The faith of these people and the way the children so freely give of themselves is changing my heart. I see what real trust in God looks like. What real giving is. Even Sony and Sowmya have taken on the expense of about $500 for the medications provided at their monthly clinic from their own salaries. Being in the field of social work in India, they are by no means wealthy. As they feel led by God to follow the clinic with the message of Jesus, acquiring funding has become a challenge. Organizations are less willing to support a health clinic when religion is involved. Their trust in God to provide amazes me. Neither Sony nor Sowmya know from where or when the money will come, but as long as there are people to serve, they keep giving. I send out their prayer request to you. God willing, funds to build a hospital of their own would allow them to make an even bigger impact in Tuni.
To try to summarize what I have learned from all of this:
Let us share all that we have... our resources, hearts, God-given gifts, time, service and the message of hope through Christ.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
What does my speech say about me?
In the last 24 hours, someone is trying to tell me something! I listened to a WFC church sermon on flip talk, and how we need to change our attitude and speech to be positive. We need to stop focusing on the negative and look on the bright side. I then turned to my daily devotional to find the lesson on “grumbling.” God reminds us in 1 Corinthians 16:9-12 of all his great works and the many things he does for us that we should marvel at. Why let our hearts and mouths spew negative degrading feelings and words, when we have such an amazing God who showers us with blessings?
The same message put before me twice in one day. I wonder if God is trying to teach me something. Am I being too negative? Am I forgetting to find the good in each day, to find the God in each day? My mother could probably attest for the fact that I have. Being so close, she is the one I call to rattle off my list of complaints! The ants have found my snacks yet again..they are giving me too much food.. someone broke the football..I miss my friends and family! How often do I discuss what God is doing around and through me? With my current attitude, it is no wonder I can continue to find fault in the people and happenings around me.
Don’t get me wrong… I love India. I love the children here and I am happy with the work in which I am involved. But, I have just been forgetting to focus on those things. God is doing wonderful things here in India. There are still great needs everywhere, but every day I hear a success story and about another life He has changed. I should be rejoicing in even the smallest successes here and use it to inspire my work further. I will not be in India forever. I have a limited time here to make a difference. Even the tiniest impact on one life or one event is worth working towards and giving my focus.
God is also doing wonderful things within me on a daily basis here. I have so much time away from the distractions of American life for introspection and Bible study. In the silences, he is teaching me to work on my own heart. I have learned new things from passages I have read a dozen times in the past. I should look to these things in order to find contentment. These things should bring me peace and joy. The little troubles that bring me to complain are petty and most likely the works of Satan to bring me down.
I may have ants, but so does every home in India. On the bright side, hundreds of them barely put a noticeable dent in my snacks. They may give me way more food than I will ever have the desire to eat, but at least I have people here who love me and care enough about me to make sure I am fed. How many people in this world are starving each day? The children may be mischievous at times, but they are still kids. I would expect no different from my students in America. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to share a little love and attention with them that they may otherwise be lacking in a home of over 500 children. I do miss my friends and family. Fortunately, they are all in good health and I have the technologies necessary to keep in contact with them. They will be home when I return this December and I can delight in seeing them again. Even more, I have learned to value those who are most important in my life. Time away from the ones I love has reminded me of how much I need and appreciate them. I can thank God every day that he has put such amazing people in my life.
More than anything, I can also take comfort in the fact that no matter where I go in life, I am not alone. God is with me. He will comfort. He will defend. He will provide.
The same message put before me twice in one day. I wonder if God is trying to teach me something. Am I being too negative? Am I forgetting to find the good in each day, to find the God in each day? My mother could probably attest for the fact that I have. Being so close, she is the one I call to rattle off my list of complaints! The ants have found my snacks yet again..they are giving me too much food.. someone broke the football..I miss my friends and family! How often do I discuss what God is doing around and through me? With my current attitude, it is no wonder I can continue to find fault in the people and happenings around me.
Don’t get me wrong… I love India. I love the children here and I am happy with the work in which I am involved. But, I have just been forgetting to focus on those things. God is doing wonderful things here in India. There are still great needs everywhere, but every day I hear a success story and about another life He has changed. I should be rejoicing in even the smallest successes here and use it to inspire my work further. I will not be in India forever. I have a limited time here to make a difference. Even the tiniest impact on one life or one event is worth working towards and giving my focus.
God is also doing wonderful things within me on a daily basis here. I have so much time away from the distractions of American life for introspection and Bible study. In the silences, he is teaching me to work on my own heart. I have learned new things from passages I have read a dozen times in the past. I should look to these things in order to find contentment. These things should bring me peace and joy. The little troubles that bring me to complain are petty and most likely the works of Satan to bring me down.
I may have ants, but so does every home in India. On the bright side, hundreds of them barely put a noticeable dent in my snacks. They may give me way more food than I will ever have the desire to eat, but at least I have people here who love me and care enough about me to make sure I am fed. How many people in this world are starving each day? The children may be mischievous at times, but they are still kids. I would expect no different from my students in America. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to share a little love and attention with them that they may otherwise be lacking in a home of over 500 children. I do miss my friends and family. Fortunately, they are all in good health and I have the technologies necessary to keep in contact with them. They will be home when I return this December and I can delight in seeing them again. Even more, I have learned to value those who are most important in my life. Time away from the ones I love has reminded me of how much I need and appreciate them. I can thank God every day that he has put such amazing people in my life.
More than anything, I can also take comfort in the fact that no matter where I go in life, I am not alone. God is with me. He will comfort. He will defend. He will provide.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
You know you’re not in America anymore when the birds hunt the cats…
Sitting outside the NASA office on a beautiful Tuesday in August I sit back and watch as this crow repeatedly dives down at an innocent cat wandering through the boys’ campus. While I’ve seen more well fed cats in the states, this was no kitten by any means. I would be amazed to see how this crow planned to finally bring down his prey.
My first two days at Light of Love have been fruitful and entertaining. I spent the majority of yesterday setting up the room where I will stay for the next five months. Equipped with my own kitchen and American style toilet, I have more available to me than I could have expected. My biggest obstacle was trying to convince them that it’s not normal to cohabitate with bats. A losing battle I’m afraid…. According to everyone here, it’s common for them to fly around inside, and only American bats will bite. At least if they turn out to be wrong, I can say “I told you so!” And at night, I have mosquito netting to keep them from bothering me while I sleep.
Fully prepared to combat the wretched ants, I came prepared this year with Tupperware to store all of my cereal and snacks. I won’t be sharing with them or the rats anymore! Sorry for your loss of M&Ms Mom!
Before spending my evening with the 500 plus children here, I was able to walk with Premdas as he fulfilled his daily exercise requirement. We left the campus gates to walk alongside an Indian highway, rest at a local coffee shop/restaurant and continued through the local village, stopping shortly at an all girls’ school. He spent the time joking and sharing insights into the Indian culture.
Yesterday, I spent with Premdas and my laptop. He is such an amazing storyteller. Stories I hope to keep in my heart as a reminder of the struggles of India. The most incredible part is that his tales are all experiences from a life really lived in India. He has seen it all. Even in just two days, I have seen person after person come through the Light of Love campus for a moment of time to plead their case. I never see him turn anyone away. No matter what funds he has available, he calls into his office for them to write another check. I’ve never seen faith like his where he gives, trusting solely that God will provide in time. Even to me, who could be accused of having a charmed life in comparison to anyone I’ve met here in India, he offers his whole-hearted assistance.
I have been gathering information about the MACS program for women’s micro financing and learning more about the fundraising of some of my fellow Westsiders. In my short time here, I am already beginning to get ideas of my own. Premdas shared his heart for education and the great need for assistance in local dalits who do not have the financing available in their families to support themselves. He doesn’t wish to overburden any one person with all of the financial needs of India. Therefore, his hope is that someone new will take on this separate cause. Join me in prayer as I decide if God is calling me to help fulfill this need. Having begun my career as a teacher, I have the same desire as Premdas to see everyone better themselves and further their education into college and graduate school. As it is not likely I will live in India for the rest of my life, I have been searching for my way to make a difference from home.
My first two days at Light of Love have been fruitful and entertaining. I spent the majority of yesterday setting up the room where I will stay for the next five months. Equipped with my own kitchen and American style toilet, I have more available to me than I could have expected. My biggest obstacle was trying to convince them that it’s not normal to cohabitate with bats. A losing battle I’m afraid…. According to everyone here, it’s common for them to fly around inside, and only American bats will bite. At least if they turn out to be wrong, I can say “I told you so!” And at night, I have mosquito netting to keep them from bothering me while I sleep.
Fully prepared to combat the wretched ants, I came prepared this year with Tupperware to store all of my cereal and snacks. I won’t be sharing with them or the rats anymore! Sorry for your loss of M&Ms Mom!
Before spending my evening with the 500 plus children here, I was able to walk with Premdas as he fulfilled his daily exercise requirement. We left the campus gates to walk alongside an Indian highway, rest at a local coffee shop/restaurant and continued through the local village, stopping shortly at an all girls’ school. He spent the time joking and sharing insights into the Indian culture.
Yesterday, I spent with Premdas and my laptop. He is such an amazing storyteller. Stories I hope to keep in my heart as a reminder of the struggles of India. The most incredible part is that his tales are all experiences from a life really lived in India. He has seen it all. Even in just two days, I have seen person after person come through the Light of Love campus for a moment of time to plead their case. I never see him turn anyone away. No matter what funds he has available, he calls into his office for them to write another check. I’ve never seen faith like his where he gives, trusting solely that God will provide in time. Even to me, who could be accused of having a charmed life in comparison to anyone I’ve met here in India, he offers his whole-hearted assistance.
I have been gathering information about the MACS program for women’s micro financing and learning more about the fundraising of some of my fellow Westsiders. In my short time here, I am already beginning to get ideas of my own. Premdas shared his heart for education and the great need for assistance in local dalits who do not have the financing available in their families to support themselves. He doesn’t wish to overburden any one person with all of the financial needs of India. Therefore, his hope is that someone new will take on this separate cause. Join me in prayer as I decide if God is calling me to help fulfill this need. Having begun my career as a teacher, I have the same desire as Premdas to see everyone better themselves and further their education into college and graduate school. As it is not likely I will live in India for the rest of my life, I have been searching for my way to make a difference from home.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
My Last Goodbyes
My great-grandma Vaughn passed away this week. I received the call late Tuesday night here in India. Even knowing she has been in a rapid decline since my coming, it was the last phone-call I was prepared to get. More difficult are my attempts to fathom that she is no longer here. I wasn’t able to tell her goodbye and won’t even make it to the gravesite for another month.
For as long as I can remember, Grandma Vaughn has always been right there with me. Living only two houses down the block from my family, I can’t remember a time I wasn’t popping in to see her. Shawn and I spent afternoon’s playing in her living room, snacking in her kitchen, and no matter the season, there was an adventure to be had in her front yard.
There were things that only grandma could do. No matter the hour, if my tooth was loose, it was off to Grandma’s house to have her pull it with that magic touch. If we weren’t in town, that tooth didn’t budge until we were home again. Only she could make chili worth eating and watching soap operas a fond memory. Cookies never tasted better than when coming out of her cookie jar.
Whether sitting in the living room or on the front porch, I was at peace having her rocking away while we shared the stories of our days. I know I speak for all of the Vaughn family when I say a holiday would have never been the same without her presence. While the rest of us split time between other commitments and plans, we could always count on Grandma attending, no matter the location or time. Even better, she came bearing more than enough hugs and kisses for us all. I trust her love will continue there with us always.
While I was lucky enough to live the closest to Grandma Vaughn, I am confident in saying that our whole family saw her home as an extension of their own. Our visits with her were frequent, but of course, never enough. She was an amazing, God-fearing, selfless, gentle and loving woman. I hope as I grow older I can reflect her grace. Grandma Vaughn will be missed and remembered by so many, but I am grateful that my prayers for her peace and the end of her pain were answered and she is now home. I know I’ll be glad to join her again on the other side someday.
For as long as I can remember, Grandma Vaughn has always been right there with me. Living only two houses down the block from my family, I can’t remember a time I wasn’t popping in to see her. Shawn and I spent afternoon’s playing in her living room, snacking in her kitchen, and no matter the season, there was an adventure to be had in her front yard.
There were things that only grandma could do. No matter the hour, if my tooth was loose, it was off to Grandma’s house to have her pull it with that magic touch. If we weren’t in town, that tooth didn’t budge until we were home again. Only she could make chili worth eating and watching soap operas a fond memory. Cookies never tasted better than when coming out of her cookie jar.
Whether sitting in the living room or on the front porch, I was at peace having her rocking away while we shared the stories of our days. I know I speak for all of the Vaughn family when I say a holiday would have never been the same without her presence. While the rest of us split time between other commitments and plans, we could always count on Grandma attending, no matter the location or time. Even better, she came bearing more than enough hugs and kisses for us all. I trust her love will continue there with us always.
While I was lucky enough to live the closest to Grandma Vaughn, I am confident in saying that our whole family saw her home as an extension of their own. Our visits with her were frequent, but of course, never enough. She was an amazing, God-fearing, selfless, gentle and loving woman. I hope as I grow older I can reflect her grace. Grandma Vaughn will be missed and remembered by so many, but I am grateful that my prayers for her peace and the end of her pain were answered and she is now home. I know I’ll be glad to join her again on the other side someday.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Christmas in India
I have actually been dreading this post because I have no one to edit me as I run on and on about the last few weeks. It has been an unforgettable Christmas, the biggest disappointment being that it’s over. This is the first time all gifts for me have gone to someone else and I’ve never enjoyed myself more. This year helped bring me back to the real meaning of Christmas, which is the love of God and his gift, Jesus Christ.
On the 14th of this month, Mom and I said goodbye to our friends at Annai Erica and began another train journey to Visak. We have managed to always find ourselves in good company on the train. With ipods fully charged and books in hand, we were ready for another long 19 hour trip. One hour in, we met our newest friends. Three wonderful children joined our already packed seats to play. Mom and I became an even bigger hit with Pre, Reshmi, and Namu when we broke out the Uno cards. Luckily, the people of India are accustomed to treating everyone like family because with as little space as we had, the children ended up on the laps of those sitting around us. In less than a day’s time we had exchanged addresses and phone numbers with the family, leaving with a sad goodbye as though we’d known each another for ages.
The Christmas joy soon returned as our taxi pulled into Light of Love and I had two beautiful sisters who have come to know me as “Mommy,” waiting at the door with hugs. All other children soon greeted us, elated that the wait for our return was over. Spending our time painting, planting, dancing, learning Telugu, walking to school, playing thumb war and cricket, and serving meals we made many new friends while enjoying the company of our old ones. Premdas and Jyothi invited us to her women’s group Christmas at the church. It was a beautiful service that Mom and I were able to enjoy with about 30 of the older girls from Light of Love. After two days, it was time to move on to New Life. I couldn’t help but be filled with excitement realizing I would soon see the children I sponsor and 180 other children whose names we had studied for weeks. The bitterness of leaving those whom I love at Light of Love was sweetened, knowing I would return in 4 days for the big Christmas function.
Arriving later than expected, it was already dark and we spent some time catching up with Neelima as the children shouted their greetings from a single file line on the grounds. We only had time to stop into the room and tell them all goodnight, but I’ll never forget the pure elation in that 15 minutes. Watching their faces light up one by one, as we were able to greet them each by name made every minute we spent practicing well worth it. The last student to find me that night was Raju, my newly sponsored boy. After telling him I was now sponsoring him as well, he calmly reached out to shake my hand with a smile and simple, “thank you.” His subtle sweetness steals my heart.
The next morning, I was happy to hear the team was coming early. It was a new experience standing on the receiving line this time. Having been in India for the last 7 months, I think I was just as eager as the children to have the “foreigners” pull in. From that moment on, they were all like family to me and I’m so grateful we were able to celebrate this Christmas together. We shared laughter, tears, chicken livers, well dedications, and giving gifts to the New Life students from both schools. Carrie and many others put so much work into raising money to provide the children with new clothes, it was great to be able to share that triumph with her. It was also a blessing to have the Chintalapudi kids there that Schaun’s small group supports. It only took a matter of minutes to get just as attached to those beautiful children.
I think the biggest surprise of the trip was having Neelima invite Courtney and I to dance with the children. We weren’t given the offer because of our grace. After two days of practice, we were as ready as we were ever going to be to humiliate ourselves in front of friends and family. Jameson took the focus off of us for a while with her impressive gymnastics. The rest of the team got what they had coming when they were brought onstage to do the same dance without practice the day of the function. I am confident in saying that Courtney and I never looked better than we did that time through.
Our team spent Christmas Eve on the beach…..two things I would never put together. I spent my time there getting to know Schaun’s parents. While they both could entertain for hours with stories, it was their advice and insights into God and love that I enjoyed most. While they weren’t able to participate in as much during the trip, I think they left the biggest impact on us all. We ended Christmas Eve with my favorite part of these mission trips, building each other up with encouraging words. I think we should all regularly practice telling others what we love about them.
Christmas Day was spent at Light of Love with all of the schools coming together for one huge event. It was incredible to be able to interact with all of the children whom I know in different capacities in the same place at the same time. Unfortunately, the night ended with goodbyes to the team heading out the next day. The last day always brings all my highs crashing down. It becomes a mad rush to say goodbye to everyone and get in my last hugs. However, I am at peace knowing these kids are in good, loving hands with Jesus always walking by their sides.
Every trip with the team affects me in a new way. I think this time I benefitted most from having 20 different members there to observe and learn from. Through casual daily conversations, I gathered so much advice and encouragement to get me through the rest of my time here. Thanks to everyone on the Dec 2010 team, Premdas, and all of his family and staff for yet another incredible journey.
On the 14th of this month, Mom and I said goodbye to our friends at Annai Erica and began another train journey to Visak. We have managed to always find ourselves in good company on the train. With ipods fully charged and books in hand, we were ready for another long 19 hour trip. One hour in, we met our newest friends. Three wonderful children joined our already packed seats to play. Mom and I became an even bigger hit with Pre, Reshmi, and Namu when we broke out the Uno cards. Luckily, the people of India are accustomed to treating everyone like family because with as little space as we had, the children ended up on the laps of those sitting around us. In less than a day’s time we had exchanged addresses and phone numbers with the family, leaving with a sad goodbye as though we’d known each another for ages.
The Christmas joy soon returned as our taxi pulled into Light of Love and I had two beautiful sisters who have come to know me as “Mommy,” waiting at the door with hugs. All other children soon greeted us, elated that the wait for our return was over. Spending our time painting, planting, dancing, learning Telugu, walking to school, playing thumb war and cricket, and serving meals we made many new friends while enjoying the company of our old ones. Premdas and Jyothi invited us to her women’s group Christmas at the church. It was a beautiful service that Mom and I were able to enjoy with about 30 of the older girls from Light of Love. After two days, it was time to move on to New Life. I couldn’t help but be filled with excitement realizing I would soon see the children I sponsor and 180 other children whose names we had studied for weeks. The bitterness of leaving those whom I love at Light of Love was sweetened, knowing I would return in 4 days for the big Christmas function.
Arriving later than expected, it was already dark and we spent some time catching up with Neelima as the children shouted their greetings from a single file line on the grounds. We only had time to stop into the room and tell them all goodnight, but I’ll never forget the pure elation in that 15 minutes. Watching their faces light up one by one, as we were able to greet them each by name made every minute we spent practicing well worth it. The last student to find me that night was Raju, my newly sponsored boy. After telling him I was now sponsoring him as well, he calmly reached out to shake my hand with a smile and simple, “thank you.” His subtle sweetness steals my heart.
The next morning, I was happy to hear the team was coming early. It was a new experience standing on the receiving line this time. Having been in India for the last 7 months, I think I was just as eager as the children to have the “foreigners” pull in. From that moment on, they were all like family to me and I’m so grateful we were able to celebrate this Christmas together. We shared laughter, tears, chicken livers, well dedications, and giving gifts to the New Life students from both schools. Carrie and many others put so much work into raising money to provide the children with new clothes, it was great to be able to share that triumph with her. It was also a blessing to have the Chintalapudi kids there that Schaun’s small group supports. It only took a matter of minutes to get just as attached to those beautiful children.
I think the biggest surprise of the trip was having Neelima invite Courtney and I to dance with the children. We weren’t given the offer because of our grace. After two days of practice, we were as ready as we were ever going to be to humiliate ourselves in front of friends and family. Jameson took the focus off of us for a while with her impressive gymnastics. The rest of the team got what they had coming when they were brought onstage to do the same dance without practice the day of the function. I am confident in saying that Courtney and I never looked better than we did that time through.
Our team spent Christmas Eve on the beach…..two things I would never put together. I spent my time there getting to know Schaun’s parents. While they both could entertain for hours with stories, it was their advice and insights into God and love that I enjoyed most. While they weren’t able to participate in as much during the trip, I think they left the biggest impact on us all. We ended Christmas Eve with my favorite part of these mission trips, building each other up with encouraging words. I think we should all regularly practice telling others what we love about them.
Christmas Day was spent at Light of Love with all of the schools coming together for one huge event. It was incredible to be able to interact with all of the children whom I know in different capacities in the same place at the same time. Unfortunately, the night ended with goodbyes to the team heading out the next day. The last day always brings all my highs crashing down. It becomes a mad rush to say goodbye to everyone and get in my last hugs. However, I am at peace knowing these kids are in good, loving hands with Jesus always walking by their sides.
Every trip with the team affects me in a new way. I think this time I benefitted most from having 20 different members there to observe and learn from. Through casual daily conversations, I gathered so much advice and encouragement to get me through the rest of my time here. Thanks to everyone on the Dec 2010 team, Premdas, and all of his family and staff for yet another incredible journey.
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